Weight control...

For the past few days I've been doing okay, weight wise. I mean I came back to a weight of 208.0, today I was 204.6, which is a definate better weight. Still not great though. I'm still jet lagged, so I haven't been hitting the gym as I should. But I'm eating okay. This morning another bowl of fiber one with ff milk and banana. Its definately not as bad as it sounds, lol. I actually enjoy it pretty well. But then around 9:30 comes and I have been eating something, usually the size of lunch...then not eating lunch because I'm not hungry, then eating dinner. Last night though, I didn't even do that. I actually went to lay down in bed to read, and was out by 4:30....I didn't wake up until 4:00 this morning. Ummm..yeah...still jet lagged, much? I'll get back down there, it doesn't help that I went to the states and pigged out where ever I could. Or when Paul came home that we both kind of let go, and I just piled on the weight. It sucks for me, because Paul doesn't gain weight like I do. We each had Popeyes the other night. He weighed himself the next morning, he was the same weight as always, I on the other hand, had supposedly gained 1 lb. I swear, you put a brownie in front of me, and even if I don't eat it, I'll still gain weight. I've gotten to the point where I don't care as much about it. I mean of course, I want to be thin and healthy. But I don't want to dwell so much on it. I just bought a sign that says, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming, "WOOHOO, What A Ride!."" Thats my new motto. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be thin again, I would love to look good again. But that sign is right. Whats it going to matter when I'm passed on? I don't want to obssess with it. So I mean, I'll do my best, I will work out again, I will eat well as much as I can, but I'm not going to berate myself when I fall down. I'm not going to scream inside my head when I gained a lb. I'm not going to kill myself trying so hard to lose weight as much. I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

This has relieved a HUGE weight off of my shoulders. I've always been so obsessed with getting thin again. Not necessarily healthy, just thin. I don't like being overweight, and I would obsess about it. What the scale said, strongly affected how I would I feel for the rest of the day. If the weight was up, I was depressed, if it was down, I was happy. Thats not the right way to live your life. At least not for me. So, I'm going to take it one day at a time, I'm not going to obsess anymore, and I'm going to see where this takes me!