Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Driving me crazy!

My oldest daughter, Autumn is a sweet girl. She's a beautiful girl. She's probably the nicest kid you'd ever meet. She does have a few problems though. We aren't precisely sure that her problems are being treated to the best of their ability, but we are trying to get her help. At first the doctors thought she had siezures that you couldn't see. But I never once thought that fit. I told the doctor after a while of taking anti seizure meds that it wasn't working. So we tried what I think may be the issue. ADHD meds. She doesn't have the H (hyperactivity) so much as just the attention deficit. She constantly loses focus, and on the parental side of things, it gets very frustrating. Especially when I have other things to do. I'm still not entirely sure this is what she has, or that the medication is working the way it should, but it has helped her. Especially in school, which is where she needs it the most. In preschool she was nicknamed the Daydreamer...which describes her almost to a T. In Kindergarten, her teacher thought she was behind schedule of the other kids until she started working with her, but she was surpassing the other kids, she just couldn't focus long enough to show it. By the end of Kindergarten, she was on the siezure medications. They really didn't help. Before she started 1st grade, we'd finally gotten her on the adhd medications, and her teacher thought that she was doing great. This year, she started a different ADHD medication because the Ritalin only works for a few hours, and I needed her to be able to do her homework. So she started Concerta. She is doing much better in school with the exception of the days that she forgets her medicines, then her teacher does notice the difference. Still, I wonder whether or not, she really has ADD or its something else. I can't wait to get back to the states to get her tested again, and find out if there is something else going on. I never thought I'd be a parent who touted medications for their kids. I don't even like taking medications, but I do when necessary. I just always thought that maybe ADD or ADHD was just another form of way for dr.'s to get more money out of us. But its a very real situation for me now. My Dad and stepmom don't agree with me giving her the medications. They think that kids don't need them. But to be honest, she wouldn't be doing well in school, and she also would drive me nuts at home if she didn't have them. Being a military wife, and my husband being gone 70% of the time, I get frustrated easily with her sometimes.
For example, this morning, I have to keep calling her name to remind her of what she should be doing. She's 7 years old, she should be getting herself ready for school. She's very capable. She just doesn't do it. I have to keep asking her if she has her clothes on, if she has her socks and shoes on, if she has her hair brushed, if she has her teeth brushed, etc. It takes her almost an hour just to do those few things. I even get her up much earlier than needed so that she can finish it. Usually in the mornings, I'm putting away last nights dishes, cleaning up a little bit, doing things that need to be done, and I shouldn't have to be in her room watching her get ready for school. Sometimes I have to though. A lot of times it seems like she just isn't listening, but its more than that. She has a disability. I only found out because my 5 year old is quite normal. When told to get ready in the morning, it takes her about 20 minutes by herself to get dressed, shoes on, hair and teeth brushed. It doesn't help that her sister is usually there to talk and play though. Like I said, the whole focus thing is frustrating.
I just had to talk about it this morning, because I'm frustrated right now, and I'm going to have to go in there, and sit with her until she's done getting ready for the day. Right now, I hear her whispering in the bathroom, and I told her one minute ago to brush her teeth. No water is running, no teeth are being brushed. She's just playing, making faces in the mirror. Sometimes she acts like a 3 year old, and I have to wonder if everything is okay with her. She's such an amazing child though. She's innocent, sweet, beautiful, caring, she has amazing qualities. But not being able to pay attention is the downfall of it all. I love my daughter very much. I want her to be okay, I want her to make it through this life not relying on drugs to get her by. I want her to be successful, and smart, and be who she is. I just have to pray for patience to be able to handle the things thrown my way. I have to pray for the patience to wait...7 minutes later, the water is finally going, but she still isn't brushing her teeth. Its time for me to try to help her.

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