Wednesday, September 18, 2013


I don't really know what to say or do to jump right back in it, but I feel that I should visit my blog today, and write.  So I'm just going to dive right back in.
A few things have happened in the past few weeks.  1. I started a new med for anti depression. 2. I started working more at customer service than as a cashier.  3.  I've started gaining weight.  =/
This is SO NOT OKAY.  In any sense of the word.  I've had to re-evaluate my diet, my exercise, my life!  I bought a fit bit, and I use that sucker, but I've noticed that I definitely don't walk as much as I used to when I was a cashier.  I walk about half as much, and sometimes as little as a 1/3 as much.  So my plan is to start walking or jogging in the morning.  In order to do that, I need to wake up at the butt crack of dawn so I can get to work by 8 am.  However, my schedule isn't going to be the same for forever.  I'm in the midst of training someone to take my morning shifts, so I can be trained as a bookkeeper, which probably means even less walking.  So I use my fit bit.  It gives me an idea of what I've been doing or not been doing.  So I have that going against me.  I do stand all day at work, but sometimes I get home and I'm just exhausted, mentally and physically and don't feel like doing anything, so I sit....that soooo doesn't help.
The new medication could also have something to do with my energy levels, it could even have something to do with my eating habits a little.  Either way, I definitely need to talk to the dr. again about it.  I do feel that I don't have the energy that I had on my previous medication, and my moods haven't really improved since I started this new medication.  In fact, I'd rather go back to my old medication rather than have this one if it comes to that.  But I know the dr.'s, they will probably try me on a few different drugs before they and I am happy with the situation.
My weight hasn't creeped up tremendously, but enough for me to put on the wide eyes and be all, "HELL NO."
My lowest weight was 137 lbs, since starting my journey 2 years ago.  I've always struggled with my weight, and 2 years ago, it all changed, I didn't have to struggle anymore.  I was able to relax a little more about it.  Then I gradually climbed up to about 142 and I was pretty content with that.  Not super happy, but definitely content.  For me to be super happy with my weight, I have to be toned, at a great weight, and have no excess yeah, fat chance of that one happening, lol.  Anyway, over the past year, since my husband came home from deployment and moving down to San Antonio, my weight finally climbed and stayed right at 145.  Just recently though, its climbed to 153 as of this morning.  Granted, last night was a bit bad, I felt really funny right before bed, like I was getting shaky and just didn't feel right.  Usually thats a sign that I'm really hungry.  I had eaten earlier that night, but I ended up having a protein bar, and felt much better afterwards.  I'm also quite sure I'm retaining just a tiny bit of water from having some chinese food for dinner last night.  Sigh.  Out with the bad, in with the good.  So basically I'm re-evaluating everything.  Getting back to basics.  If that means protein protein protein, then so be it.
We have guests coming down this weekend.  I know that things won't be as good as they can be.  I can do what I can for the remainder of the week though, and then re-start everything beginning Sunday.  No more white carbs, no breads, no potatoes, no rice, no pasta.  I've been very successful with my low carb diet in the past, and I know I can be successful at it again.  That isn't ALL I have to do, though it will be my main focus, I also have to start exercising more.  I love exercising, so I don't know why this is all of the sudden such an issue.  Perhaps its because my treadmill doesn't want to work correctly, or I just like making excuses.  I basically need to blow the dust off of my workout dvds and re-start those as well.  I can also get up more, move more, maybe take a walk after dinner, or at least take a walk with the kids when they walk the dog.  Something, anything to get me back on track.

One thing, I am really proud of, is I ran (mostly) a 5K this past weekend.  I've been sore ever since, but I did run the bulk of it.  I'm a slow runner though, so Paul basically just bounced right next to me, lol.  It was a ton of fun, I LOVE doing things like that, and Paul has basically given me the go ahead to maybe look into doing that more often.  I'm so excited, its something him and I can do together that I don't feel is just sitting around on our butts watching tv or something lazy.  Its motivating that he's willing to give up his Saturday morning to come on a run with me.  I'm really excited about the prospect.  However, my schedule isn't usually as great as it has been lately, so we'll have to plan it out a little better.  I do have a foam fest 5K coming up in October that we are doing in Austin, and that ought to be a blast.  I figure if we do one 5K every month, we are doing something right, right?  And I'm pretty confident that work will allow me one Saturday a month if I ask for it off in time.

I've lost this weight.  Over 100 lbs, I had to go through a LOT to get there, a blood clot, and a lot more struggles throughout the journey.  Now that I'm finally not on blood thinners, and I've lost most of the weight, I can't give up.  Its not allowed.  I cannot and will not get back to where I once was, obese and unhappy.  I may have gained some weight, but now its time to get back on track...