Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Plane tickets

AND NOW...I have plane tickets.  In hand and ready to go.  Everything is coming together so quickly, and its getting more exciting by the minute.  BUT-its also a little overwhelming.
Paul left for the field this morning, so he's gone for the next 40 days or so, and I am doing the whole single mom thing again.  It LITERALLY had to start this morning.  My husband sweetly left me a pile of dishes in the sink.  He usually does the dishes after I cook, but he likes to procrastinate...so instead of dishes, he was still packing at 10:30 last night.  So of course, I fought with myself this morning when the alarm went off.  Let the kids get themselves ready and I could sleep...or do the dishes.  Being the freak clean person that I am, I got up and started on them.  I also did a few things in between, but it took me until almost 8 to finish them.  I started at 7.  THANK YOU HONEY.
So after that was all said and done, my stomach was grumbling and not being nice at all to me.  So I walked Sierra to school, took a shower and headed out to the place to get our airline tickets.  Came home and my stomach was assaulting me from the inside.  Cramping and grumbling and making me queasy, oh and heartburny (is that a word?).  I don't know whats up with the stomach thing.  Maybe I'm fighting something, maybe something I ate, who knows.  I do know that my head is screaming at me to jump up and down and do sommersaults all over the place, although nobody really wants to see that, but my stomach is saying a big fat...oh helllllllllll NO.  It seems worse when I eat too.  I ate bran flakes this morning with my nf milk, and some veggie sausages...the veggie sausages tasted extra spicy, and I could feel the heartburn coming on.  For lunch I had a little leftover steak and some leftover potato salad.  I can't even think about dinner right now, and its 6 in the evening.  I know I SHOULD eat something, but I'm really not looking forward to my stomach assaulting me again.  I did take some tums...no help at all, and I also drank a little pepto.  It helped, then I fell asleep earlier, woke up, felt good for a brief minute, then the heartburny feeling came back.  Sooo WTH?
Anyway-I'm sure you wanted to know all about my intestinal issues today, but hey, its there.  I feel icky, but at the same time super excited about our upcoming move back to the states.
Ohhhhh, one more thing...we got approved for another loan on a house yesterday.  We've owned a house before, so obviously we've been approved before, but its still exciting to say!

Monday, March 29, 2010


We officially have our orders!  We should be back in the states sometime in June now, and we couldn't be more excited.  Now I have a million and one things to do since Paul is leaving for the field tomorrow...he'll be there until May sometime, so most of the moving appointments and whatnot will go through me.  Paul did a lot today, we have appointments to ship our car, and appointment to make an appointment for our HHG (I know its confusing).  We also got pre-approved for a house loan through USAA, and we talked to them about our moving insurance.  We still have so much to do.  Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to someone about getting airplane tickets, and get that squared away, as well as the animals, then I have to call around to see about shipping our other car, and call about people detailing the cars to get them ready to be shipped.  So much to do, and seemingly so little time.
This month is going to be absolutely full of things to do, and things I should do.  I'm a little anxious, and nervous about doing so much of it myself, but I'll get through it.  Paul will be back soon enough and then we can really start counting down the days!
I was expecting orders soon, but didn't expect everything to move quite so fast when we did get them...although I wanted it to, I guess I just didn't expect the army to get the ball rolling so quickly.
Sometimes the Army suprises you!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


I've decided to do a little experiment.  My husband is leaving for the field pretty soon, and as most of you know, I want to lose weight.  So I've been looking around doing some research.  I read up on The Sacred Heart Diet, which is very similar to the cabbage soup diet.  You get soup, fruit, veggies, and a few other things.  Its a week long diet, and its a good starter diet to get you back on the right track.
So I've decided that I'm going to do my own little experiment.  Its not an "unhealthy" diet per say, I mean you get fruits and veggies, and all that.  I wouldn't call it the healthiest eating plan out there though.  But I'd like to try it, so I'm going to.  I'm mostly doing this experiment for my own good and to see if this diet will really work or not.  It sounds interesting.  Paul is leaving early Tuesday morning, so it may be Wednesday before I start, but I'm going to do it.  I know that this isn't the best way to lose weight yada yada.  I got it, I've done my research.  I have my certification in fitness and nutrition, I don't need the negativity.  Just support please!  Just to clear it up, this will only be a one week thing, I will update my progress as I go, and let you know how it goes.  It should be interesting, and I LOVE experimenting! 

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Its been a long couple of days

We've been waiting for our orders that we should have recieved on Tuesday, but to no avail.  I'm not sure when we'll get them at this point.  Paul is leaving for the field soon and won't be back until sometime in May.  According to regulation we should be leaving in June or July.  Its definately stressful moving from one country to another.  All the waiting, the appointments you have to make, the cleaning, and going through things, wondering whether you'll be over or under your weight limit.  Not to mention if you have animals, and how to get them home.  We were waiting for orders, so that we could make appointments for air travel, we want to go through Lufthansa if its at all possible so that the animals can travel with us.  Thats the biggest thing right now.  Besides, there are a LOT of people coming and going during the summer, and its the worst time to travel.  Everything may end up being backlogged, and then we'll have to wait longer.  I'm not a fan of that idea at all.  I usually don't mind moves at all.  But the overseas move, if I have to do it ever again, it will be too soon!  I haven't minded living overseas too much until recently, but at this point, I cannot wait to get back to the states.
Today, my oldest is home sick.  She wasn't feeling well this morning, and is congested and coughing a lot.  So I let her stay home.  But staying at home isn't very fun.  She has to lay in bed all day and get better.  She said she feels better and could go to school now, lol.  Its noon, and I'm not sending her to school for two hours, but I'm glad my kids know that its not fun staying at home when you are sick.  I don't want them trying to pull that whole I don't feel good let me stay at home thing.  We do let them come with us when we are traveling and they are able to miss school somedays because of that.  But its Europe and what would you expect, ya know?
I started reading a new book.  The River King, by Alice Hoffman.  We'll see how it goes.  I haven't read as many books as I would have liked this month, but I think that next month I will get to more since Paul will be gone.
Not much else is going on right now.  My life is somewhat boring at the moment.  I will post another recipe soon, I just have to get to it!  With things being so stressful lately, I've felt like I wanted to just lay in bed all day and not do a thing, but then I have a million and one things to do!  So here's to hoping the stress can go away and I can get everything under control.  I just have to think that everything will fall into place, and we will be going home sometime soon.  So I'm trying to be positive and look at the bright side of things!

Monday, March 22, 2010


This weekend, we were given the opportunity to visit Edelweiss again.  First let me start off by saying the first time we went there, we were very pleasantly suprised.  The Hotel/Resort, is great, its only military, and its very comfortable.  This time was no different.  We were going with a family retreat sponsored by the chaplain here.  The first night that we arrived, we had to go to a class right after dinner, and we were there for a few hours with the kids...not a great start to the weekend.  There weren't enough chairs, we were all tired from the long drive, the kids were NOT being quiet...finally we went back to our rooms and went straight to bed.  The next morning we went to a class after breakfast and were only in there for a few hours, until just about lunch time, and the kids were in another room.  Let me tell you, I got way more out of that class than the first one.  To be honest, the first one, I hardly remember because I was so distracted.  The second class was interesting, and the best part was, is that we didn't have anymore classes for the rest of the day.  We were able to spend family time together.  So we went to a Bavarian restaurant.  I had the jaegerschnitzel...I know, I know...I'm not the most adventurous out there.  Paul got a beef with bread dumpling, I forget what the called it, but it was okay.  Mine was pretty good, but I did get full pretty quickly.  Paul ended up eating mine.  We did get to try a Dampnudeln (I think thats how its spelled), it was OMG amazing.  I'm going to have to find a recipe like that sometime!

After the restaurant, we took a nice drive to Innsbruck where the Swarovski crystal museum is.  It was really neat, there were some really odd pieces of art work, but it was still a pretty cool experience.  The girls enjoyed it, Paul didn't really care one way or the other for it though.

The Crystal Dome was definately one of my favorite parts of the museum!

Then we drove back to the hotel, we got to eat at the nicer restaurant, Pullman Place.  It was really great.  Since the girls hadn't been eating too much we decided to just get some appetizers to share, meals to share, and a dessert to share.  We ended up getting the french onion soup, it was absolutely delicious.  We also got an artichoke and spinach dip, but it wasn't as good as the one I made at home, at least not in my opinion.  We got some broccoli alfredo with chicken, it was only okay, it was far too cheesy for any of our tastes, but everyone enjoyed the shrimp scampi pasta.  Unfortunately, we had maybe a bite of our actual meals, and were too full to eat anymore.  We had them boxed up and we saved just a little room for dessert...a chocolate fondue with fresh fruit.  I've never had fondue before, so this was a real treat for me.  We had strawberries, cantelope, honeydew, pineapple and grapes.  I think I'm going to stick with the strawberries in chocolate myself, but the others were interesting to try.  The girls really had a lot of fun dipping their fruit, and having a fun dessert.

Afterwards we went back to the room and went to bed.  The next morning we had another class, and then we headed out.  It was a nice experience, especially since it was mostly free.  The lodging and most meals were free, so I can't complain.  It was also fun to get out of Baumholder and spend time with my family.  It was much needed, especially right before the big field problem coming up.
We drove home, after going to Ettal to the cheese factory that we'd visited on our last visit, picked up some of the yummy cheese, and some monastary beer for Paul.  Then we made the long drive home.  It was a long tiring weekend, but I feel so thankful to have the opportunity.  I'm also thankful to have a great friend who watched our dog for us, and have a husband willing to go to classes like this to appease me!

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Well, I've been sick the past few days, and haven't had anything new or exciting to write about.  I don't really right now either, but I am going to Garmisch this weekend with my family.  We are going to Edelwiess for a marriage retreat.  I can't wait to get out of Baumholder!!  I love getting out of Baumholder.  Anyway, I will take a lot of pictures, and hopefully have lots of fun, and try to NOT let this cold bother me.

On a side note, I found out that the girls are going to have a dance recital at the spring bazaar here in Baumholder.  I'm very excited for them, they will get little costumes and everything.  Its going to be sooo cute!!

So thats all for now, I will update a little more later.  I did manage to make a big ol' St. Patricks Day dinner last night, and I've made some other foods that I should post.  Plus we did find out a little bit of good news on when we can leave, so I have lots to update, just not enough time to do it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Three Weeks with my Brother...Nicolas Sparks

I loved this book, at first it took a bit for me to get into it.  But the storyline drew me in.  It entranced me.
Its a story about Nicolas Sparks life as he remembers his past with his brother Micah.  They go on this trip around the world, and are reminded of things from their childhood.  Its told from Nicolas Sparks' point of view, the reader starts to feel really close to the main character.  The story has love, laughter, tears, and it pulls at your heartstrings.  Its definately not a typical "love story" Nicolas Sparks, but it has a love story in there.  It made me realize how lucky I am, I was very pleasantly suprised.  I'm not sure I could have endured the things he has endured in his lifetime.  Overall, it was a great read, and I would recommend it to anyone.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


"Lets go on a trip....to Amsterdam!" I said to my husband.

So we made the plans, we got ready, we invited friends, and we went to bed early the night before.  I woke up bright and early at 3:45 AM (because I'm weird and HAVE to take a shower before I go anywhere), we were out the door by 5, and were on the autobahn by 5:15 AM.  Just a few short hours later, it was around 7:30 AM, Sierra complains of her stomach and chest hurting...10 minutes later, she says that she feels like she's going to throw up.  (SIDE NOTE:  My daughter is really good about knowing when she's going to puke, we can usually make it to the bathroom in time for her to get it right in the toilet.)  We were in the car, and literally had NOTHING for her...Paul grabbed a plastic bag we were using for trash, "IN THE BAG," I heard him yelling.  I finally found a gas station and we stopped to clean her off.  She had gotten sick.  Meanwhile, Dylan (my bf son) had had an exploding diaper, so it was good that we stopped when we did.  Sierra looked a little better, no fever, we thought maybe carsickness?  Dylan got changed, pants were exchanged.  We started back on the road.  I believe it was only an hour after that that we had to stop again, the same exact thing had happened.  To both kiddos.  Dylan had another diaper incident, only no exploding on pants, and Sierra managed to throw up a little more.

Right as we entered into Amsterdam.

Finally around 10:30 AM (we were should have gotten there at 9 AM) we were arriving in Amsterdam, we were stuck in a little traffic, and BAM, there she goes AGAIN.  Unfortunately, we couldn't stop and turn around, we pretty much had to deal with it.  Oh and it was NOT pleasant at all in the car, the smell alone was enough to make us all gag and open windows in 40 degree temps.  We managed to find a car garage, and unloaded.  We had to take off Sierra's big sweater she was wearing (she had a tshirt on underneath) and throw it in the bag...it was gross.  Otherwise, everything was pretty much in order and ready to go.  So off to the Anne Frank house we went.

Along the way we saw some canal boats

Doesn't look much like a sick kid huh?

Some of the buildings/housing in Amsterdam

We arrived at the Anne Frank house, and waited in line for probably a half hour or so.  We were able to walk in and see the interesting replica's of what the house would have looked like when they lived there.  They didn't have the actual house still in tact, so they just remade it I guess.  It was a bit dissappointing.  Don't get me wrong, it was really neat to see the house she lived in, and even to see what it would have looked like.  But it was a small museum, and it went by quickly.  But its an experience, I will never forget nonetheless, and I'm glad we were able to go.

This is the front of the building, we weren't allowed to take pictures inside the museum.

Across the street from the Anne Frank museum was a tulip museum that was like a house boat.

Afterwards, we went to the Pancake Bakery.  European pancakes are not the same as American ones, they are more like crepes.  We were all hungry for actual food and not sweets, so we ordered accordingly.  Lauren ordered a big omelet, Paul and I ordered a canadian pancake to share, it had bacon, ham, cheese, and onions in the batter...I thought it would have been rolled up with the pancake, but it was actually in the batter.  The girls each got a little pancake of their own, complete with gummi bears, and powdered sugar, as well as a little toy suprise.  It was fun, and it was a nice place to visit.

They had jars of molasses at the table.

Lauren's giant omelet

Our Canadian pancake

One of the girls pancakes, it also had a pincess crown, and a sucker on top, but that was the first thing she took off of it.

After the pancake bakery, we headed back to the car.  Somehow we walked right through the red light district.  Whoa...lets try to stay away from that area in the future!  It was neat to see, but there were literally women in the windows in lingerie.  They would first see our husbands and open the doors, THEN they'd see Lauren and I with the kids and shut the doors...we even saw and old lady, white hair and all in one of the windows.  But I have to admit, she had real pretty LEGS people, LEGS!  Ha ha.

If you can tell in the picture, the lightbulbs in the lights are all red...red light district, quite literally.

We headed to the NEMO museum, its like a science museum that we thought the kids would enjoy.  We made it all the way back and found that the museum closed soon, so we decided against it, and headed back to the car.  We drove to another side of Amsterdam and then walked to a boat canal tour, bought some tickets, and waited for the boat to come for us.  We walked around and saw some of the sights while we were waiting.  I saw the chess set that is pretty famous, you can actually play chess with others, it was really great.

The canal ride, was a 75 minute ride through most of the canals in Amsterdam, we saw some interesting things.  We saw inside houses, and these people have nice houses!  We saw inside the houseboats on the edge of the canal, very cute, and some really dingy.  But it was a very relaxing ride, and I loved it.

The view from a window on our side of the boat

Once we made it back to land, we went back to the car, and headed home.  No more puking kids, no more exploding diapers, Lauren and I were in the clear (I drove up there, the guys were driving back).  THEN-about two hours into our drive, Paul starts pulling over, I was halfway asleep and asked what he was doing.  He said he was getting gas.  So I was dozing off and on...then I realized we still hadn't found our gas station.  He waited until we only had 10K left on the van according to the little program that tells us how much gas we have left.  We went all OVER the place.  We found the esso, it was no longer there, like the business was no longer there at all.  Then we found another gas station...it was closed for the night.  Then we found another gas station, it too, was closed for the night.  We drove to another town.  More closed gas stations.  By this time, we had LONG past the 0 K on the van's little meter.  We knew it was only a matter of time.  But we still probably went another 50 k until I told Paul to ask a cab driver.  Finally the cab driver was able to take us to the third gas station where he had a card that he could swipe to allow us to pump something.  We gave him some cash, and were EXTREMELY grateful to him.
We thought we might have to sleep in the car at one point, and I'm soooo glad we didn't have to.  Paul drove another hour, and then pulled over, and I drove the last hour or so.  We finally made it back home at 2 AM, we unloaded what we could, and went straight to bed.

It was an interesting trip to say the least.  The car ride there and back were awful, but will definately make for some funny stories.  I can laugh about it all now, but I was still worried for my daughter, and I was not laughing at all when I thought we might have to sleep in the car that night.  It all worked out though, and we had a lot of fun in Amsterdam.  Its true what they say.  You can buy and smoke pot in Amsterdam.  We passed many people who were smoking it and we could smell it any time we were near a coffee shop (its where they sell it for the most part).  Lauren and I went into a coffee shop and checked it out, they had a menu for it and everything.  It was really quite interesting.
I just had to! (This is a postcard and not an actual menu)
We didn't make it to the Heineken museum, or to the Nemo museum, so I might see another trip in our future, hopefully with no throw up, or diaper explosions or gas scares along the way.  Its only supposed to be 4 hours away from here, but with all of the things that happened up and back, it took much longer.  Still, its a fun city, and its a nice, clean city.  I wouldn't mind going back at all.

Sierra's hair...

This is Sierra's LONG beautiful hair before I decided that it needed to be trimmed.

I honestly thought that I could cut it.  I figured, who needs to spend the extra money, she's only 5.  She doesn't need a $15 hair cut like I do.
I think I might need to re-think my hair cutting abilities....

Its MUCH shorter than I intended, but she LOVES it, so I guess all is well in her world, and hey, it will eventually grow back out right?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Over it...

So if you joined me in my lil blog yesterday, you know I was completely feeling sorry for myself.  Well, I was.  I have those days.  Everyone should have those days.  So today, I'm over it.  I'm over the whole feeling sorry for myself thing.  I need to DO something about it, and stop feeling sorry for myself.  I need to just put my big girl panties on, and start truckin' through.  I do it for deployments.  Why can't I do it now?  Thats just it.  I can, and I will.
I did manage to lose 1.2 lbs between yesterday and today...no worries, its probably just a flucuation in weight, or water.  But still it gave me a lil boost today, that I desperately needed.  I won't restart my workouts until Monday, because my tattoo is still sore, so I don't want to agravate the issue.  But I can work on my food intake, thats a definate.  Lately I've been eating an egg, on two slices of toast with cheese and bacon in the mornings.  Its yummy.  Yesterday, I was looking at the mayo that I put on the day before...did you know that mayo has cholesterol in it...I have to stay away from cholesterol (but not eggs, even though they too, have cholesterol).  So no more mayo for me on sandwiches period.  Mustard only.  I also glanced at the cheese....yup, there is some more.  The dr. told me to stay away from dairy except for lean dairy, and lean meats.  She said not to worry about eggs though.  I know eggs have a lot of cholesterol and its better to eat egg whites rather than egg yolks, but honestly, this keeps me full, and I'm going for a slower weaning rather than a drastic approach.  But I'm trying, and thats what matters.  I'm getting the foods that we shouldn't eat out of here.  I believe in moderation...BUT-I tend to binge when there is something I'd like to moderate....so its better to not have it at all.
I was reading a blog about this other girls weight loss, and she eats a whole bag of vegetables with her dinner....thats amazing.  And talk about few calories.  I think I need to try that.  We usually have one bag between the four of us for dinner.  While that is still great, maybe I should make two, one for me, and one for my husband and girls.  Soon, Paul will be off to the field though, so I'll have to figure something else out.  Hmmm...
Now, one of the dire things, that may or may not help me, is that I have to cook somewhat cheaply.  We are trying to save money for our move back to the states, so the food bill has been cut.  So I have a few cookbooks that I use for dinners that are cheaper than your average meal.  I am going to eat healthier though, so I'll substitute when I can.  Tonight we are making a mixed bean and sausage minestrone soup.  I've already bought the sausage, and besides, we don't have turkey italian sausage here in Germany, so unfortunately, this won't be a great meal because of the sausage.  But I'll still make it work.  Everything else is still okay, it has onions, carrots, beans, broth, water, some pasta, tomatoes, and parmesan sprinkled on top.  No big deal.  I can make this work, I can do this.  It won't happen overnight, but I need to do something.  I'm miserable, and the only way that its going to stop, is if I DO SOMETHING about it.  So I am.
I am going to rummage through my cookbooks for more cheaper/healthier meals, and see what I can come up with.
Wish me luck....I'm going to need it!!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


Sometimes, somedays I have a problem.  I eat.  I feel that I can't fill up enough and I want to eat and eat and eat.  Like I literally cannot get full.  I don't know why this happens.  But it contributes negatively to my weight, as you would imagine.  Its been sunny here...actually for a few days in a row as a matter of fact.  I've seen more sunshine than rain in the last two weeks or so, and its absolutely wonderful.  So I can't contribute this to the weather.  Its cold here...really cold, and I walk the girls to and from school every day, so maybe it could be the cold, but I doubt it.  This just happens to me.  Why I don't know?  I just want to binge.  I don't do anything to make this happen.  I eat breakfast, I eat a good breakfast usually, and I don't skip meals.  I eat enough food, so I don't binge from not eating.  I don't binge because I'm missing something from diet...believe me, its all there.  So what would make me do this?  I think there is something hormonally wrong with me that would make me do this.  I mean my stomach won't get full on these days.  They don't happen all the time, but maybe about once a week.  For example, yesterday, I had an egg sandwich for breakfast, a chicken sandwich for lunch, and a rosemary pork roast with potatoes and a french roll with dinner.  I was sated completely.  Today, however, I had an egg sandwich for breakfast, and a banana, for lunch I had some leftover pork...then because I was still hungry I had a bowl of lucky charms.  Came home with the kids, and had another bowl of lucky charms.  I will say that I was craving like chocolate or something, but more of a pastry than candy.  I'm not huge into candy or anything.  But give me a brownie and I'm hooked.  I just don't get it.  I mean, I do have this "I can't feel full" feeling sometimes after workouts, major workouts, but I haven't been working out a lot lately, I haven't had time or motivation to do it.  So that can't be the source.  I drink plenty of water.  Well, I drink a LOT of water.  More than most people I know.  I have a 32 oz bottle that I drink out of for the most part, and I fill it up at least 5-10 times a day, depending on the day.
Anyway, the reason for me complaining about this, is that I'm just fed UP.  I'm soooo over being overweight.  And overeating.  I mean I know what makes me gain weight.  Its the eating.  The workouts I can do, although I haven't been doing a lot of them lately, I do enjoy working out.  The biggest reason I haven't been going back to the gym a lot lately is because my workout clothes...don't fit me like they used to, and honestly, I'm a little embarrassed.  Its like I should wear a big sign across my chest that says "YES, I gained weight."  I mean, I know people notice it...hell I notice it, how can others not.
Last night, Paul said that he's destined to be a fat man.  I thought about it, and I guess that sentiment is true for the most part.  I mean he likes food as much as I do.  And I really really married the WRONG man, if I wanted to look good through my life, lol.  He's the worst, I mean, he knows that sometimes my emotions can be quenched with food, so what does he do?  He buys me food.  Or he makes me yummy food.  Sometimes out of the blue he'll buy me something that I don't really want, but end up eating anyway.  He encourages us going out, but I do too, when he's home.  I told him last night that it is no wonder why I lose weight when he's not around, but gain it when he is around.  Sigh....
Why can't I just keep up the workouts, and good eating habits when he comes home?  Why do I always fall into the trap and start eating badly and start not working out as much???  Why, why, why.  I guess I could say its because I want to spend time with him, and me working out, feels like I'm not spending time with him, because he doesn't just want to come with me.  He hates the gym.  I guess I could say its because I want to apease him with my cooking, so I make foods that aren't as good as the ones I was making.  I guess I could say that I let loose when he's around because he's home, and I feel that I should be able to let loose.  The truth is though, that its all on me, it has nothing to do with him.  He doesn't make me NOT workout, he doesn't make me eat the foods I eat.  He doesn't make me eat more than I should.  I haven't always been heavy, I was a thin muscular girl when Paul and I met, and I soon got pregnant with Autumn.  I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy, I lost most of it though, then some of it back.  Then I gained more when I had Sierra.  And I've been yo-yoing ever since.  I'll be thin, then heavy, then thin again, and now heavy.  Its sickening.  I hate it, and I wish there was an easier way for me.  I wish something could just click.  I want to be healthy, I want to be pretty again, I want to be able to have energy all day long.  I want to be able to wear pants, and not have to worry about how my belly sticks out over them.  Its just one of those things.
You know, I've contemplated dangerous things.  I've contemplated, not eating...won't work for me, throwing up...ick.  I've contemplated those silly lose weight drugs that don't work.  The only things that have worked for me, was eating right and working out, but how come they never stick...I guess its because I go back to my old habits when Paul comes home....its like I think I deserve it.  I don't want my life to be this up and down, me always focusing on my weight nonstop.  I never worried about it this much.  I never even gave my weight a second thought until I had Autumn.  Even after Autumn, the second thought didn't come around until Autumn was a little older and I'd gained some weight back.  Then, even when I was pregnant with Sierra, it was always in the back of my mind.  I can't ever stop thinking about it, and it really really sucks.  My knees are starting to hurt again, and I just wish that I didn't have this problem.  I wish that I could have a better metabolism, and I wish that I didn't have to think about my weight.  Right now I just feel lost.  I wonder if it will change when we get back to Texas.  Its not like Texas is going to be this magic weight loss place for me, its going to take time.  But I know that I will have many more options as far as working out goes.  I also know that I will have more food options as well.  That will help, if only I can make it help.  I used to be sooo fitness minded when I was younger, and I can be even when he's gone, but for some reason, its like it all falls by the wayside when he's home....
Okay, I'm done with my pity party of the day, if you got this far, thanks.

Monday, March 8, 2010

It snowed AGAIN...

This past Saturday it snowed...AGAIN.  This year there has been a LOT of snow in Germany.  More than I ever recall it snowing in the other two winters we've been here.  I'm glad this will be our last winter in Germany though.  Soon, we will miss the snow...and I think I'd rather have that.  Its really kind of sad when your child says that THEY are tired of the snow, and then they get excited when they see grass...

Sesame Chicken

Its been a while since I did a recipe post...

Chicken Sesame Stir-Fry
1 cup water
dash salt
1/2 cup instant brown rice
2 tbl reduced sodium soy sauce
1 tsp lemon juice
2 tsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp canola oil
1/2 lb uncooked chicken breast tenders, cut in half lengthwise (not breaded)
1 1/2 cups frozen bell pepper and onion stir fry, thawed, drained
1/2 tsp sesame seeds

In 1 quart saucepan, heat 2/3 cup water and the salt to boiling over high heat.  Stir in rice.  Reduce heat to low.  Cover; simmer about ten minutes or until water is absorbed.  Fluff with fork.
Meanwhile, in a small bowl, stir in remaining 1/3 cup water, the soy sauce, lemon juice, cornstarch, sesame oil; set aside.
Heat nonstick woke or 10 in skillet over medium high heat.  Add canola oil, rotate woke to coat side.  Add chicken; cook and stir 2-3 minutes.  Add stir fry veggies; cook and stir 3-5 minutes or uuntil chicken is no longer pink in the center and veggies are crisp and tender.
Stir soy sauce mixture into chicken mixture; heat to boiling.  Cook and stir until sauce is thickened.  Sprinkle with sesame seeds.  Serve with rice. (MAKES 2 servings, I doubled this recipe)

I really enjoyed this meal, the girls did not.  They took a VERY long time eating it.  I guess they still aren't fans of peppers and onions.  Paul, on the other hand, was very excited, talking about how he was eating chinese (of course, I don't really consider this chinese, maybe Americanese, but he was excited!).
The meal was over all great, and you really don't have to add anything to it.  You have your good carbs (the rice, and veggies), and your lean meat.  You really don't need anything else.  Needless to say that was a major plus for me!
Cost wise...it worked for me.  I already had the instant brown rice, I did have to buy more red-sod soy sauce, but no biggie, I use it a lot anyway, I bought la choy for .99, I had to buy a lemon, which was a whopping .57, I had the cornstarch, sesame oil, canola oil, the chicken cost 4.59, but I only used 2/5 of it.  The frozen bell pepper beggies were 1.39, and sesame seeds I had to buy for 1.89.  Overall the meal cost me 9.43, but I will be able to use the soy sauce, chicken, and sesame seeds again in other recipes, or if I make it again.  So it was definately a cheap meal to make.  I did double it though too, so that added some to the price, but not much.  I would have bought the chicken ect anyways.  It was a great meal, and healthy too.  It only has 300 calories, and in my book that makes it a double plus!

Guten Appetit! (German for enjoy your meal!)

PS Try not to go crazy with the sesame seeds...they came out a lot faster than I expected, ha ha!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

My new tattoo!

We made it to the tattoo parlor, just in time today.  I love this guy, he's great at doing tattoos!

Friday, March 5, 2010

A Choice...money or husband???

Today my husband popped a question to me.  Would I rather him come home for a four day while he's out at the field for two months, or would I rather him try to get 250.00 for family seperation??
Before I answer this, a lot of you will say, automatically...HUSBAND.  But for us its a little different trying to figure out which would be better.  Paul and I have been married for 8+ years.  We've been through multiple deployments, and a hardship tour.  We also have a pretty big move coming up, and can use all the money we can get.  We also shouldn't spend any of that said money, while he would be home on his four day.  It is during the kids spring break, so we would have time to hang out with him.  He would be a little tired from being in the field, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Soo...what to do?  Granted, I had about 5 minutes to make a decision.  He said he didn't mind either way.  What would you have done?  Take the money, or take the husband for four days?

Me?  I chose the latter.  I figured 250.00 isn't that much money in the big span of things.  Him being home, could potentially be a lot though.  We could get more things moving for the move, and we could go visit a theme park or something, do some more traveling that we want to get done before we leave here.  Sure we could use the money, couldn't we all?  But I think having him home will be more beneficial to us in the end.  I also don't want to be stuck doing literally EVERYTHING for this move.  I refuse to do it.  This is a HUGE military move...if we were in the states, its a different story, but here, I will not be doing everything on my own.  So he should be home, if for nothing but a small four day to help around the house.  Get things in the works, if he has his orders, he can start getting things going, housing out for an inspection, the movers, getting the cars ready to go, all of the little things.  So while it may not be the best four day ever, I think it will be more beneficial to us to have him home even for four days, rather than try to get 250.00 later.  Besides, every time he's gone, I become like a hermit, I don't spend money.  I don't buy as much food, I don't buy as much gas, I don't buy as much on our cell phones.  I also don't buy clothes or anything, and since we are going to the states, I don't NEED to buy anything more for the next few months.  I can buy it when I get there.  Thats so exciting to say, that I can buy things that I need over there!!!

What would you do?

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Things haven't been easy...

I dread having posts like this, but it needs to be said, and it needs to be out of my head.  Things haven't been easy for me after I came home from the states visit.  I fell into a really deep funk that I really couldn't shake.  I didn't want to go anywhere, do anything.  I started gaining weight.  Like an inordinate amount of weight.  So I went to the dr., I got on some medication, and I do feel a little better now.  I started this medication about 2 1/2 weeks ago I think.  I already feel my mood lifting.  Thats good.  But I can't help but feel horrible when I step into my pants...pants that only a year ago would have been wayyyy too big for me, and they are too small...like I can't breath all the way.  They are only one of three pairs of jeans that I can fit into right now.  My other two are in the wash, so I have to suck it in up, and workout while putting them on, then when I sit down to type on my computer, hope that the buttons don't go flying!
I hate this feeling.  I know things were bad for me, and I overeat when stressed, depressed, ect.  So thats what I was doing.  I had not even a little bit of motivation, and I didn't want to do anything in January.  February came along, and I started doing more, but it wasn't everything I should have been doing.  Still no working out, still eating crappy food.  I can't even count how much fast food we ate, because I just "didn't feel like cooking."  A few weeks ago, I'd noticed that I hadn't had a fruit or veggie that whole week...wow!  I've struggled with my weight ever since I got pregnant with Autumn.  I lost a lot of it after having her, but gained it back when we moved away from my family to Colorado.  I think I was lonely, Paul was gone first to AIT, then he was gone to Iraq, and so I gained weight.  I didn't think a whole lot of it then.  Paul and I definately had our issues then though too.  We were still trying to work out the kinks in our new marriage.  I started working out to a dvd, and soon after he came home from Iraq, I found out I was pregnant with Sierra.  I was devestated, I didn't want a baby at that point in time.  I went through the motions, I didn't gain a whole bunch of weight, but I was already bigger to begin with, so it didn't matter, any weight that I gained was too much.  After I had Sierra, a year went by, and I stepped on a scale at a dr.'s office and I was 223.6 lbs (the highest I've ever been), I also had high cholesterol.  That gave me the motivation I needed.  I started working out nonstop, eating 1200 calories, Paul got deployed, and instead of feeling lonely, I worked out all the time.  Most days it was 4-6 hours a day that I would work out.  I know now, that it was too much.  I was down to a HOT 150 lbs when he came home 11 mos later.  Then we found out we were going to Germany.  We had to sell our house, I was very very stressed, and we also had it in our minds that we should eat out at all of our favorite restaurants as much as we possibly could...needless to say, I don't agree with that anymore, I don't even miss the restaurants that much.  So we ate out, I didn't even have time to work out, things were hectic, and just a mess.
We got to Germany, and the lonliness really kicked into high gear.  I don't call my family much because it can get expensive with the euro rate.  So I had the girls and friends, I was lucky enough to make a really good friend immediately when I got here, but it didn't help my weight.  I just wanted to cook regular things.  I wanted to work out in my house, but the house is very small, I can manage it most days, but there also isn't plush carpet, its all wood, and it doesn't feel good on my feet or shins.  Paul was gone almost constantly when we got here, first he went to school in Georgia, then he went to Mannheim for training, then off to Graff, he was gone a lot.  So I was lonely a lot.  What do I do when I'm lonely...well eat of course!  I was still managing to workout some at home though.  He then was sent to Iraq for a 15 month deployment this time...I lost weight again.  Not at the rate that I did last time, but slowly....very slowly.  At first I did the southbeach diet, I couldn't stick to it, so I started working out at bootcamp, and just eating better, cooking out of my healthier cookbooks ect.  It worked well enough.  I was down to 160 when he came home, I'd started at 211.  It was slower, but I didn't want to put myself in that situation again where I would work out too much.  I also did nutrisystem the last few months, and I enjoyed that a lot actually.  It was easier on me, especially being in Germany where food isn't as readily available as it is in the states.  By that, I mean that I can't get the low carb, high fiber tortilla's over here, that I could get in the states, so it worked.  Soon after my husband came home, we went on vacation.  I knew I'd gain some weight, but I was hoping it wouldn't be much.  I gained 10 lbs on vacation.  The working out, the eating well...not going too well for me.  Then we started having parties, from there, I've gained back almost all the weight I lost while Paul was on deployment.  How depressing.
I need to find something that works for me, all the time.  Not just some of the time.  For some reason I associate Paul being gone with me working out, and losing weight.  When he's here, I let loose, I give in, and I gain weight.
I'm saying this right now, because I had my birthday party this past weekend.  My pictures are HORRIBLE.  People actually took pictures of me, and I was looking at them, thinking...eww.
I'm also still stressed out because we have a big move coming up, I'm lonely because Paul has been gone a lot since he got home in January, luckily he's home now, but he's about to leave for the field, and I'm freaking out about the move being so close to the time he comes back.  I don't want to leave here any later than I have to.  I really really want everything to fall into place.
I know that if I could get into my own house again, into a comfortable place that I would start to lose weight again.  I know that I want a treadmill, but have no room for it here.  I made Paul promise me last night, that he would buy me a treadmill and make sure I have tivo...if nothing else, I can always just walk while I watch tv shows.  I am trying to get back to working out, slowly but surely.  Last week, I worked out Monday-Thursday.  Friday-today has not been having a workout though.  I haven't felt very good since Sunday, and Friday we went to Poland, Saturday was my birthday, and I was still tired from Poland.  Sunday-yesterday I didn't feel that well.  Today, I got dressed in my workout clothes, started doing laundry and just couldn't get my butt out the door to the gym.  I was also very hungry for breakfast, and I knew I should have eaten earlier, but I didn't, so gym didn't happen.  Neither did my workout at home.  Instead I caught up on things that needed catching up.  Now I'm sitting here, hair still wet from my shower, and trying to get my thoughts straight.
Yesterday, I ate fruit at breakfast, veggie salad with lunch, and there were vegetables in dinner.  So I felt better.  I want to get at least one fruit or vegetable in with each meal.  Its a very small goal, but its something to get me back on the right track.  Even if my salad does have feta cheese, black olives, and ranch, it still counts as a veggie.  Not a super great one, but it counts.  Oh and I had a potato for lunch yesterday.  For dinner I made a taco casserole type of thing, using low sodium tomatoes, rinsing the beans, low sodium taco seasoning, lean beef, but we have full fat cheese for now, so thats what I'm going to use.  I'm trying to get the things out of the house that are tempting.  We still have cake (but luckily I'm not all that into cake), we still have ice cream (my husband bought butterfinger ice cream that is just to DIE for!), and we still have oreos.  All the things have to exit the house.  Whether by force of the trashcan, or by my kids mouths, so that I'm not tempted to snack on oreos.  So its a work in progress.  I will say that somehow between last week and this week, I lost 2 lbs, so that makes for a happier me.  I need to feel motivated again, and feel better about working out again, feel better about what I'm eating.
Its not going to be overnight.  But I have to do this, yet again.  I am just really hopeful that this time it will stick.

Wow, camera goodies!

This giveaway is AMAZING!  I would love to win, but you can enter too!  Go check out the giveaway link!  =)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Sunny days...

You can barely see them, but the windmills are out there!

Look its a dinosaur!  Rawr!

Lexi dog!

Its pretty when its sunny here!

Jake and Vienna...

Well I finally saw the finale of the bachelor.  Honestly, I think The Bachelor is really a fun "reality" show, and besides there really isn't all that much to do over here in good ol' Baumholder, so I'm a little hooked.  Besides, Jake is complete EYE candy.  So that doesn't hurt at all!  Now there was a lot of controversy about him picking Vienna in the finale, of course I knew who he picked before I was able to watch it...the joys of being more than a day behind everyone else.  I was with the majority, not really liking Vienna, and I liked Tenely better...until I saw the finale.  Finally I realized why he went for Vienna...Tenely is perfect.  I'm talking sickeningly perfect.  As she was portrayed, she really does sh*t rainbows....how realistic is that?  But I know some people are like that, and its great for them.  But most people aren't like that.  Most people like other people with faults.  Faults make the person in my opinion.  Tenely was sweet, and cute, and too perfect, it was rather disgusting towards the end.  I'm sure she's a wonderful sweet person, I'm sure that she's great personally, and I wish her nothing but good luck in love because I really do think she deserves it.  But I also think that Jake didn't end up with her because she's sooo "perfect."  Vienna was fun for Jake, she had faults, but she was also honest.  I'm not sure they will end up together, but I know why he chose her in the end.

Whether or not they end up together forever is up to them, and I don't care one way or another, but I am sick of hearing everyone say how Tenely was wayyy better.  I don't see it.  The finale totally changed my opinion, and I'm glad that they are happy.

On another note...I NEED A LIFE!!!!  =)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

February books...

This list is MUCH shorter than the last list.  I only read one and a half books this month.  They are slower reads, and a bit longer than the other books I read in January.  Plus life has been getting in the way and I've been trying to catch up!  So the books I read this past month were:

The Law of Nines by Terry Goodkind

I enjoyed this book, its kind of a newer version of his Sword of Truth series.  But you don't have to read the series to understand the book, it goes over a lot of things from the older series.  Its also not a part of the series in some ways and it is in others.  At first I was confused, but I guess Terry Goodkind is trying to have a more modern version of the same story out there.  Maybe trying for a different audience.  I still liked it, and will enjoy the next one, if he decides to write more, which I think will happen, but we'll see!

A Wedding in December by Anita Shreve

I read The Pilots Wife by her, and really enjoyed it.  So I figured I'd try out another one written by her.  In my opinion, it wasn't nearly as good.  It dragged in some parts, and confused me in others.  But once I got the hang of it, and got through half of  the book, I didn't want to put it down.  I do think its geared toward an older crowd though.  Would I recommend it...probably not, its not one that I would tell my friends they HAVE to read it or anything.  But its not a bad read either.

Yes, I only read 2 books in the month of February.  I have a few other books to read in my bookcase, and I really need to get through those before we move, so I don't have to lug them around if I don't want to.  I don't keep all of the books I read, usually I get rid of them, I do have a few that I've kept though...Harry Potter, Twilight, books I know the girls will enjoy someday.  This month, I'm hoping to get through about 3 or 4 books if possible, Paul is leaving at the end of the month for the field though, so I may end up reading more next month!

My actual birthday...

Sunday was a day very fun filled.  Other than the monstorous hangover, we had agreed to watch a friends son, Dylan.  Now Dylan is just the cutest little boy I've ever seen!  I love that kid like my own, and we had a BLAST with him.  I love his pudgy lil fingers, his fat lil toes, his baby soft cheeks, just everything.  And despite the hangover, I had a lot of fun watching him.  Almost made me want another rascal running around here....ALMOST!

He could totally pass for one of mine, lol!  =)

He had such a blast playing this game with the girls!

Just looking at him makes me want another....awwww!

Happy Birthday to ME!

After our excursion on Friday to Poland, we figured a birthday party would be a piece of cake!  We got home early enough that I decided that I could try to go get my tattoo, it ended up being a no go.  Lauren and I got to the tattoo parlor and he was already booked...we were only 10 minutes late from when they opened.  I guess we better get there earlier.  So Lauren and I went for lunch at the Ramstein mall, then we came back.  I started getting ready for the party.  Had a great time at my party...too great of a time, lol.  And I was passed out by 9:30 (remember the medication I'm taking...well apparently it has the side affect of enhancing alcohol, so one drink ends up being 2 for me...NOT COOL).  That mixed with me being tired from our trip on Friday, and not eating...not a great combination.  I won't get into the nitty gritty details, but I had fun, at least what I remember of it, lol.

P.S. I won't bore you with all of the party pics...actually I just don't want to embarrass myself, but here is the pic of my cake.  My honey wrote on it, and notice the cute little margarita glasses!  Very sweet!

Polish Pottery

Friday, Paul and I woke up long before dawn, and headed out to Poland.  We woke at 3 and were out the door by 4.  Made it to Poland at around 11, and started our shopping excursion.  We were there until 3 and headed out to come back to our house.  We made it back at 10:30 pm.  It was a LONG day, and not very fun with all the driving, but the shopping was fun...even if Paul wanted more of the pottery than I did, lol.  In his defense though, he doesn't want me to want anything more from Poland, and he also wanted to spoil me for my birthday.  Unfortunately because it was a VERY quick trip, I didn't get any pictures.  And the area wasn't nearly as pretty as I remember it to be.  When I went up there last time, I didn't think the town was too horribly ugly.  This time though, maybe because of the winter months, maybe because things have changed there, it wasn't pretty at all.  When we got into the town, Paul remarked that he hoped we didn't get mugged...yeah, sorry hun!  Needless to say, we were in and out of town as soon as we could, I definately have my fill of pottery, thats for sure.  I bought a lot last time, but didn't know which pattern I liked the best.  A lot of it ended up being Christmas gifts, and I found the pattern that I fell in love with.  I still like different patterns, but my main pattern is daisies with ladybugs.  And now we have MORE than enough to satisfy our pottery cravings...

We found this rose pattern at a hole in the wall shop just outside of town, the guy that owned the shop makes this pottery himself.  You could see the room where he painted the pottery, and he also had the room where he actually made the pottery.  Then he had one little room with all of his finished products, it was really neat!  And I love the roses.
I think that not only do I have an addiction to Polish pottery now, but that my dear husband does as well.  This is it though.  We are leaving Germany soon and won't get a chance to come back, so I'm glad I have enough to last me for forever.  Plus my girls will eventually get this pottery someday and hopefully it will stay in my family for a very very long time!