Thursday, February 18, 2010

New meds...

I went back to the dr. for a follow up appointment, of course, I couldn't see the regular dr. but I had Paul come with me, so I feel like I have support to talk to someone a little better.  It worked, I felt more supported, and I was able to talk to the dr. a little more than usual.  So that was a great thing.  My billions of blood tests came back all good, so nothing is physically wrong with me that could be causing weight just must be baumholder, lol.  Anyway, I started a new medication, and its draining me, and making my head hurt, but it will take a week or so for me to get past all this.  The last two days I had dry mouth, but that has gone away a bit.  In case your'e wondering, its an antidepressant that I'm taking.  I'm not a down and out person all the time, but sometimes I need help.  I see military wives all the time taking things to help them get by, whether its anti-depressants, sleeping pills, or anti anxiety meds.  There is a lot going on in military life, and I also think that the weather over here doesn't help me at all.  I've tried wellbutrin, prozac and effexor.  The only one that has actually helped was the prozac...great I'm going to be a prozac person...I hate the stigma's.  Anyway, I've had some sort of depression since I was 14 years old, it wasn't so bad that I needed medication until more recently.  I get irritable, and down, and feel really unmotivated.  I want to feel better, and I am doing that.  Please don't judge me as a pill taking freak, because I'm not, but I do want to feel better, and be better able to handle the things thrown my way.  So there it is.  Yes, I take an antidepressant.  I'm not going to hide it, I know its kind of embarrassing sometimes to let it all out there, but I don't mind anymore.  If someone doesn't like me, its not because I take an antidepressant, and if it is, well then they aren't worth my time to begin with.
One of the other side affects, at least for me, is that I feel really tired.  Like I just want to sleep.  Then come bed time, I have trouble actually falling asleep, then I had some crazy dreams last night.  Hopefully this med will work better for me than the others.  Wellbutrin gave me horrible headaches, prozac worked, then kind of tapered off, I took more, and felt worse, so I stopped.  Effexor same thing happened, I felt better, then I felt worse, then I felt even worse, and then when I went off of it, I felt like someone was electrocuting my head, and pissing me was bad, really bad.  I would never recommend quitting effexor cold turkey, again.  I didn't think it would be too bad because I was on a very low dose, but that didn't seem to help.  But thats okay, sometimes you have to try a wide range of candies to get to the one that will be the best...and thats the way it is with me.  I'm getting help, and I feel better, so thats what really matters right?

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