Monday, April 19, 2010


I know, I've been bombarding my blog today with blogs galore.  I feel the need to get caught up.
I've come to the realization that I can't STAND how much weight I've gained these last few months.  I want to do like the biggest losers and workout 8+ hours a day and eat nothing...wouldn't it be absolutely awesome to lose 20 lbs in a week?  I'll even take 10 lbs for the week, thank you!  I jest.  I know that they don't eat nothing per say...but that their calorie counts are very much reduced, and they really do workout only 4-6 hours a day, but they are away from temptations (except at the challenges...hellooooo I have temptation every day, not just one little tiny temptation challenge), away from family (not that I envy that one), away from day to day life.  I am by no means saying its easy, but I would love to get back to that point.  I was there once.  A few years ago Paul left for Iraq, I started working out 4-6 hours a day.  I was on a strict 1200 calorie diet, and it worked, I lost a lot of weight in just a few months.  The minute he got came back.  Almost all of it.  We moved to lovely (sarcasm) Germany, and he's been gone more than he's been with us this whole entire time.  He did manage a 15 month deployment in there, and I did lose weight again, this time only working out 2 hours a day, and eating less, but not stricly.  I was doing really well.  I mean yes, I gained some weight when he initially came home.  But it wasn't too bad until my going to the states in December...then it feels as though everything went right down the hill.  I guess I was extremely depressed, and had absolutely NO motivation.  It kept going, and going...until finally, I'm at this absolutely awful weight, and I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror right now.
So I got fed up, with how annoyingly heavy I let myself get after working so hard TWICE now, to lose this weight, I'm fed up with the way I feel, and I'm fed up with feeling so entirely self conscious.
So I started working out again, nothing huge, just Preventions Walk Yourself Fit...its basically a nothing workout compared to what I was doing just a year ago, but its SOMETHING.  I have to ease myself back into this, or I'll hurt myself.  So Friday and then again on Sunday I worked out.  I did break a sweat, and felt good after my workout.  This morning comes around...and since the girls were on spring break we all got used to sleeping in, and I was NOT in the mood to get up.  I had to though, I had to take Sierra to school...we walked.  I walked the dog around the block, and then I came into the house, ate my breakfast (special k with some ff milk...did you know the special k really isn't all that great for you? Another story), and sat down.  Pretty tired, and really hot...its actually been beautiful here, the sun has been shining, and its been warmer than usual, but its also warmer inside the house because of it.  I don't mind though, I'm definately not complaining.  I'm about to do another workout, but I wanted to blog first.  I find blogging helps me keep accountable.
Food wise today, the plans are simple, eat less, and eat well.  For breakfast I had the special k...the reason I say they aren't all that great is that they don't have a lot of fiber in them.  Fiber helps you stay full well as protein, so I don't think I'll be buying the special k again.  I like more fiber in my cereal.  Most people don't get enough fiber as it is, and I like knowing that I'm at least trying.  Lunch today will consist of a lean cuisine and some vegetables, I do have an array that need to be eaten in the fridge, so why not?  Dinner, well we have these chicken patties in the freezer right now.  They are breaded, but they also need to be eaten, so I'll be making those for dinner, along with any veggies I can muster up as well.  Sounds pretty good right?  I hope I can do it, and manage it well.  I need to buy more fruit, and more veggies, but I also need to eat what we have in the house because we are moving soon.  So its back to the grind for me.  Back to the workouts, back to the eating well, and NOT eating so much.
In other news, my IUD came out...eeeeekkk!!  Kind of glad Paul isn't home, but it did still freak me out.  We've been talking about possibly having another child when things settle down after we get back in the states.  So, I'm not sure I'm going to do the IUD again, but I would like to try something else.  Pills won't cut it for me though, so I'll have to see what else is out there.  I've heard there is a patch, but I'm not sure that they even offer it here.  It is Germany after all, they don't have nearly the amount of medications they do in the states for whatever reason.  If nothing else fits me and my lifestyle, I'll have them do the IUD again and take it out when I'm ready to try for a baby.  I know I'm not ready right now though, things are a little too hectic, and I want to get settled in the states before we try.  Anywho, appointments on Wednesday, so we'll see what they doc says.
So yup, thats whats going on in my life today.  I'm sure I'll have more to talk about later!

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