Monday, October 3, 2011

Frustrations...

I eat so little.  You would think that the weight would be just FALLING off of my body right now.  While it is coming off, its starting to come off very slowly.  =(

I didn't make the goal I'd set out for myself.  I was hoping to hit the 45 lb loss mark by my 2 month surgiversary.  Instead, I made it to 44.2 lbs lost instead.  I didn't eat all that well last night though, the combination of me being tired, and either having allergies or getting a cold (the jury is still out on that one), caused me to eat whenever and whatever.  Willpower was gone yesterday.  I didn't eat horribly, but I was grazing all day, and I somehow managed to eat a whole fiber one bar.

Sometimes, I wonder if the surgery really did cut out 85% of my stomach, or if my pouch is stretching out already.  I hear of people who are a year out that can only eat 2 ounces of food at a time.  While I still can't eat a LOT at a time, I can certainly eat every few hours, and usually its about 2 oz at a time.  Probably not a good thing.  I think I need to incorporate my acid reducer again, and I also need to start integrating more working out into my life.  I feel much better than I have been recently.  To the point where I'm not needing my pain medications as much, my INR levels are evening out, slowly but surely, and by this time, I am mostly completely healed from the surgery.  I still have some issues with bending down a lot, my incisions on the inside ache at times, but overall, I'm feeling so much better!

Its just about time to kick it into high gear.  The weight loss has slowed down so much that its really annoying, especially when I'm eating well, and I'm eating so little.  However, earlier in the week, I did have issues with chocolate or sugars, and I knew I would pay for it on the scale.  My 1.8 lb loss this week, is proof, that I am now paying for it.  Most people would be grateful for a 1.8 lb loss in a week.  I am not most people though.  I've also had this surgery, and while I'll probably be plateauing out again soon (its a cycle), I should be losing more weight than I am.  I just have to get back on, and start rocking my sleeve.

Between last month and this month, I've lost about 9 lbs.  Its still a great loss, but considering this is my second month, and I've done better than that on my own by just working out and eating well, I'm unhappy with that number.  I feel good though, so tomorrow, I'm getting right back up, dusting myself off, and pulling up my big girl panties (and believe me they are still BIG...you don't wanna know).  Today, I am still recovering from my exhausting weekend (we went to the Texas State Fair), I am going to work on re-hydrating my body (its so easy to get dehydrated these days), and also work on getting my protein in.  I also want to see if this cold gets any better or worse, I figured it was just allergies, but now I'm beginning to wonder if this is a cold as my oldest woke up with sore throat, and swollen lymph nodes.  We are off to the dr. later to make sure it isn't strep or anything too serious.  Still, the weigh in and out cycles are frustrating.  Especially when I do eat so much smaller portions that I ever did before.  I've lost 44.2 lbs in TWO months though.  That is an average of 22.1 lbs a month, and really isn't too upsetting when I look at it that way.  When I think about it the other way...I lost 36 the first month and 9 the second month...its a little upsetting, lol.  So I'm going to look at it the way it makes me feel better.  Plus, I may have a fantastic month this month and the weight will just come off, here's hoping!  =)


~It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.
Vince Lombardi

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