Saturday, August 6, 2011

Surgery day...

Ugh...someone turn that alarm OFF!  I roll over and realize that its my phone, so I turn it off...lay there awake, then it hits me.  Today is the day.  Wow.  Do I really want to do this?  Yes, yes, I do, I've thought about it.  I've mulled it over.  This is a good choice I'm making for myself...right?  No time right now, I have to get in the shower.
The pre-op nurse gave me some surgical soap to rub all over my belly, and it doesn't smell like roses that's for sure.  So I wash myself as best as I can, this will be the last time that I see my belly like it is.  I'm not sad though, it has other "battle wounds" from having kids, or just other things in my life.  Honestly, whats another scar or two?
I have to remember, no lotions (my skin is so dry), no perfumes, no deodorant...(really, do they want me to smell???), no jewelry, and no makeup.  Eh...who is going to see me that I really care whether I'm wearing makeup or not?  Its okay.  I don't know whether I should brush my teeth.  I'm not supposed to have anything from midnight the night before.  No water, no food, nada.  So I pack up my bag, making sure my toothbrush and toothpaste are packed right along with it.  I really don't feel like offending someone with my smells, but this is what they told me to do, and this is what I'm doing.
Finally, I wake up my kids, and we head over to a dear friends house, who is going to be watching my girls, and my van for the next day and a half.  She drives to me the hospital, I grab my overnight bag, and head up to the third floor surgical processing.  I'm super early.  I'm not even supposed to check in until 10:30, but it is what it is, and I arrive around 9 instead.  I check in with one of the nurses, who really doesn't seem surprised that I'm there so early, and then I go to the waiting room.  I didn't want to get there super early, but my friend has plans, I didn't...other than sleeping, but it doesn't matter.  She's doing me a HUGE favor, so the least I can do is not interrupt her plans.
The waiting room is stuffy.  Filled with typical hospital chairs.  Not terribly comfortable.  Definitely not the worst chairs either.  I sit down with my overnight bag over my stomach.  I feel like the people around me are probably wondering why I'm in the waiting room.  I really don't want a whole bunch of people to know.   So I get out my book and start reading.  I also start dozing off.  Apparently, two nights with hardly any sleep will do that to a person.  I'm reading off and on.  Wondering if I'm doing the right thing...I can still back out right?  Dozing off here and there.  Finally, my phone rings.  Its my best friend in Arizona.  She helps take my mind off of everything, and in the midst of our conversation, I hear a "Mrs. Hirsch," being called.  I tell my friend that I have to go they are calling me the nerves really kick in.  Wow!
I go with her to a small room where they have a bed with a purple blanket.  I am loving that its purple and not some horrendous puke green or something.  Purple is soothing.  I get led to a bathroom where I'm told to take off everything I have on, put on some sexy hospital undies, and a humongo hospital pad (as I had started my period two days prior), and this awful tan brown gown with designs that maybe were supposed to be some sort of country western theme?!  After doing all of this, going to the restroom, and realizing that I have NO time to call anyone to tell them I'm going in, I go onto my phone and voice it on facebook.  Everyone can see it that asked me to call them, so that's where I'm going.  All I say, is that I'm going in, see ya on the other side.  Still really positive.  Still very apprehensive in my head.
I crawl into the bed, and get wheeled down the elevator into another room.  They are trying to get an IV in me.  The first one hurts like heck, so they take it out and do another one..ahhh that's so much better.  I get a gorgeous silver hat to wear, but I must say, its not the worst thing I've worn today, so I'm okay with it.  I have a multitude of dr.'s, nurses, and trainee's coming in and out of my little section, telling me things, asking me questions, and trying to talk to me.  At this point, I am a nervous wreck.  I haven't had food, or water.  I'm super thirsty, I just want to get this over with, or maybe I just want to run out of the hospital and go home and never think about this again.  NO, I tell myself, I've been wanting this, this was MY decision.  I will be able to be healthier and be around longer.  It may be drastic, but I don't want to leave my kids, or my husband too early, and right now I'm on my way....
They give me a shot of an anti anxiety drug.  It totally chills me, I'm just going with the flow now, dude!  This is awesome.  I can definitely do this.  They ask me move from one bed to another.  Cool-io...I got this.  So I move.  The second bed isn't all that comfortable, but I don't really care.  Whatever drug they gave me, its fantastic.  They are telling me to do things, I'm following orders, then nothingness.  I seem to remember them strapping me down.  I remember trying to fight off wonderland.  Its a useless fight.  Sleep, and deep sleep comes.  I don't even remember them giving me the drug or telling me that they were going to.

I wake up, and there is a pretty girl asking me questions, my name and date of birth.  Really?  You want me to remember this right now.  I'm sure I just mumbled something hardly incomprehensible, but she took it and rolled with it.  I don't remember much else she said to me, I just remember her sitting at a computer asking me questions while I was trying really hard to keep my eyes open.  Its a futile attempt, but I manage somehow.  I remember saying that it hurt to breath.  I felt like a rubber band was wrapped all the way around my lungs, and ribcage, and I wanted to get in a deep breath, and couldn't.  My stomach muscles felt like I'd done a bunch of sit-ups, but otherwise were still in tact.  I even wondered briefly if they were able to do the surgery.
Next thing I know, I'm being wheeled to my room, where another nurse is asking me questions, and giving me drugs.  Telling me that I need to press a button for pain.  I hardly pressed that button for the first few hours.  I was knocked out basically the whole entire first night.  I don't know what time I was done.  I don't know when I was able to finally call someone and tell them that I was indeed okay.  I tried to text people and it doesn't come out looks more like gibberish.  I really have to focus on things.  My throat is extremely dry from a tube going down it.  I sound like a frog right now.  I'm exhausted and just want the rest.  I manage to write something else on my facebook and konk out once more.
I am woken up multiple times, for blood pressure, temperature, and pulse rate.  I wake up when my nurse changes shifts and introduces me to the new person.  I have to wake up when the respiratory person comes to put something on my finger to figure out how much oxygen I'm getting.  I also have to wake up to get more doses of heparin.  Finally, I feel a little better, and not so exhausted.  I tell the nurse that I want to get walking.  They've been telling me all of this time that the walking will help get the gas out of my stomach, that they had to use to inflate my stomach.  I can feel the gas bubbles gurgling in my belly.  I feel incredibly bloated, and the fast I can bounce back, the better.
I go for my first walk, burping, and hiccuping the whole time, and for my first, its actually quite impressive.  I walk down and back, and down another hallway and back.  My nurse is happy for me.  I'm not extremely exhausted and just want to go to bed.  So after getting my IV back in place, my leg "braces" back on, my catheter back on the side of my bed, and a sheet on me, I'm out.  I do get woken up a few more times for things here and there.  I get to talk to my nurse about how he likes his job.  I'm groggy, but still polite.  He seems like a nice guy, and he's having to deal with some majorly gross stuff of mine, so why not be polite, right?  I walked once more that night, just to knock me out.  The only thing that hurts is where my drain is.  I have a drain coming out of my belly right now.  Its a long clear tube that is attached to something that looks like a very soft clear grenade.  Its supposed to help with drainage, and I'm sure it does.  Its kind of gross looking, but its supposed to be helping me.  I have a sharp stabbing pain when I move a certain way, that's when another hit of the medicine button happens.  My back is cramping from being on it all day.  I so desperately want to move a certain way, and relieve some of the pain.  I would love to lay on my side right now, but its quite painful because of the drain right now.  So I just bear through it, and make it to the next day....

1 comment:

  1. WOW what a life changing choice for you! Good you made it on your own and that this is for you and your health. Your going to rock this and be the you that you want to be! One day at a time, dont get discouraged, you have a very strong determined mentally so I know this chapter in your life will be a good one.


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