Lately, its been on my mind. The awful horrific tragedy in CT on Friday. You see, I was perfectly content, at work Friday evening, when I finally walked into the break room to be inundated with news stories of the absolutely horrible outcome of the shooting of 26 people. 20 of those people were small children, 6 and 7 years old. You know, all I can do is cry for these people. I remember getting upset with my girls on Friday morning because they were taking too long to get ready for school, I still gave them hugs and kisses, told them that I loved them, and that I'd see them after I got off work that night. Who could have ever thought that those poor 20 children would never get to say goodbye to their parents again, hold their parents hands, give them a hug and a kiss and head off to school. Its been tearing me up, learning about the things that happened. A 27 year old teacher locked her kids up in cabinets and told the shooter that her kids were already in the gym, so he shot her, and went to the gym...she died, but she died a hero, saving every single one of her children. The only sole survivor of the classroom that was gunned down was a little girl who had the foresight to play dead among all of her classmates. She was the first one out of the school and was covered in blood from head to toe. None of these lives will ever ever be the same. All because of another child....a 20 year old boy, who decided to shoot up this school of innocent children. The only conclusion that I can think of, and it may be true or not, I really don't know, but I wonder if somehow in his skewed mind he thought that his mother (the first victim shot at their house) loved her students more than him, so he went on a rampage. Maybe it will make me sleep better at night to think something like that. Either way there is true evil in the world. Its heartbreaking, its devastating, and it just reminds me of the fact that we may not know how much time we have left. Hug those kids, love them, don't yell at them. I'm a cashier at a grocery store and over the last few days, I see parents frustrated, yelling at their kids, and it breaks my heart because I can't help but think what a parent in CT would give just to be able to see their sweet little boy or girl again. I get frustrated with my kids too, I find myself getting upset with them as well, but I also am trying to remind myself that life still has to go on. We never ever know what could happen. We just have to live our lives in a way that makes us better people. I can't even begin to imagine what the parents are going through, I honestly don't think I could handle it. As a mom, as a parent, I just cannot fathom what I would do if one or both of my children were murdered in cold blood...I just can't believe that anyone could be so cold....but it does happen.
You know when Columbine happened, I was in high school, myself. It didn't affect me except to make me more aware of danger. We had bomb threats afterwards and I got a cell phone to hopefully ensure that if something happened, I could at least call someone. When 9/11 happened, I cried, I wasn't a mother at the time, and couldn't relate as well, it was awful, so many people lost their lives that day, including little ones in daycare. Maybe I'm just older, but those tragedies haven't hit home with me like this one has. I have a 10 year old, and an 8 year old, I love my kids fiercely, and would give anything for them to have a good/happy life. To me, someone purposefully going into an elementary school, shooting innocent children, its just horrific....it touches me more because I am a mother, what if that had been my child, or my children? I feel so incredibly sad for those affected by this tragedy. I wish there was something I could do that would help ease the pain of some of those people. In a few months, this tragedy won't be as fresh, things will get back to normal and I hope that I can remind myself to be a little nicer, hug a little harder, and enjoy them a little more. Its absolutely unspeakable how awful this whole tragedy is. I sincerely hope that nothing like this EVER happens again, its sad when its scary to send my kids to school....
Please please please, just make sure you love on your kids and don't get so mad the next time they are frustrating you, think about the parents that would give anything to have their babies back right now, even just to get frustrated with them....
